Is this thing on?

I have been hiding the fact that my father is dead. I have hid this from myself.

I am angry at him.

But then again I am glad he didn't know me. I have proven myself to be a profound disappointment in all supposedly significant venues. Life, love, career--all a failure.

It's convenient that I don't believe in a Heaven or Hell, or the pain would be a prolonged experience.

I'm pretty alone.

I'm pretty lonely.